Rainfall

Life in the Meantime

Original image credit to Joyce Romero

My Dear Misfit Friends & Puzzle Pieces,

Here is the snippet about rainfall as promised:

The world is quiet here. It’s like everything feels distant, removed when it rains. The faint hum of tires on pavement sounds so faint and far away. Streetlamps make dazzling yellow suns out of puddles on black asphalt, and the steady stream of water down rooftop gutters invites me into a melancholy mood of peaceful bliss. The fairy lights draped across my bedroom sky create a cozy glow that begs for a special pair of socks, knitted throw, and tea of peppermint and chamomile. Or, in my case, a large bowl of ramen noodles, an old dryer-worn fuzzy blanket, and my favorite pair of lounge pants that are longer than I am tall. And maybe a pumpkin muffin fresh from the oven. I know it doesn’t add to the spring aesthetic, but they’re too delicious for me to care at the moment.

It's one of those nights. The house echoes of emptiness, devoid of human presence other than myself at least for a while. Finally, the cares of the day drain away, out into the damp street amongst the puddles of sun. Wind holds its breath for the time being, and my soul soaks in the beauty of anonymity, content to be just a face. The night almost never requires anything more from me than this; unlike the day, which demands I continuously figure out ways to paint myself in gold and shimmer about hoping some talent-seeker will point at me and exclaim ‘I want you!’.

But not at night. Darkness and I have been close friends for many years now. It doesn’t matter which cape he dons; winter or summer, spring or fall, I am devoutly his and waiting by the open window. Always.

...

Dear friends, I think I am on the cusp of something that bodes well for me and might be the answer to the revolving question where do I fit?. The answer, it seems, hints outside of the box. No surprise there. I promise I will explain. For now, don’t lose faith fellow puzzle pieces! To be faithful means to be full of faith. Faith is confidence that what you hope will occur based on evidence you’ve experienced or witnessed in the past. I still have questions. I’ve asked them for several months now. But speaking with other misfit pieces who hold the same desire as me and are being shown bit by bit what a full life means for them has given me strength to continue asking and not throw in the towel. Life means too much to me to submit to one of in the meantime, as if my twenties were meant for nothing more than longing hours and/or burnout. I refuse to survive my days looking forward to retirement because honestly, that’s how long it will take to achieve the standard of success established by culture. It’s just a season becomes ten plus years later faster than you think, and suddenly you’re experiencing mid-life crisis because you wake up one morning and realize half your life is over and all this time you’ve been telling yourself it’s just a season. I just need to make a little more. Then I can focus on who God created me to be and how He wants me to live.

Don’t get me wrong, I have been the fool before who thought because He loves me his best will fall in my lap. Um...no. That’s not how it works. But I’ve also swung to the opposite end of the pendulum and tried to do everything myself. Hence the migraines. My focus in the meantime is partnership. I will also go more in depth into this when the time comes.

It is true, life is full to the brim of unknowns, but I am willing to push through and fight for a life of joy and peace found in balance. How about you?

Stay Curious,

Olivia

P.S. I am so tempted to respond with “that’s classified” to the what do you do? question people keep asking me and move on with a straight face to the next conversation topic.