The Cure to Inferiority

The True Opposite of the Self-Absorption Pendulum

Original image credit to freestocks

My Dear Lovelians & Lifers,

I feel called out right now, which in turn feels…uncomfortable to say the least. I am grateful conviction calls when He knows I am ready and able to make a change. Otherwise, what’s the point? It accomplishes nothing and demotivates people to overwhelm them with habits, mentalities, behaviors, and beliefs that need to change in order to better themselves, which is why I never tell a new Christian what to change first. Ever. My list of religious priorities is my business, not theirs. If that means I put up with swearing a while longer, so be it.

Today I feel convicted of a mental struggle of mine that has plagued me for as long as I can remember – Inferiority. The conviction aspect lies in that I just learned it goes by another name: self-absorption. Ew. A term I never want to be associated with. But it’s true! Beth Moore describes it this way:

Constantly thinking little of yourself

is still constantly thinking of yourself.

Ouch. Superiority is not inferiority’s opposite like I thought but it’s antagonist. They are two extremes of the same pendulum. The cure and opposite of both is humility. The remedy for thinking of myself too much, whether those thoughts are good or bad is irrelevant, is to take my focus off myself altogether. True humility does not measure up one man’s worth against another’s. It simply serves with gladness without thought to one way or the other.

Please do not misunderstand. I am not promoting the unhealthy belief that I am not important at all because that would place me right back into inferiority’s hands. Or kill me. The difference between true humility and inferiority is the lack of a measuring stick.

Truth is, I want to be significant, more specifically I want to feel important. And cultural standards tell me in order to feel significant I must be significant, to constantly measure up my own worth against someone else’s. The purpose of conviction: freedom. My Jesus desires to free me from this hamster wheel I’ve chained myself to. I’ve spent so long believing I would finally feel content with myself if I leaned into superiority. But I’ve never been able to sustain this for very long. My skills, achievements, appearance, they just don’t ever seem to measure up. It brings me great joy, truly, to serve others; to ease the burdens people carry off their shoulders or at least share in the weight. I am highly sensitive and attentive to these kinds of needs. The faulty side to this is my comfort zone often drives me to purposefully place myself under others out of intimidation, to bend the knee if you will, which in turn leaves me doubting my own value and sacrificing my God-given authority.

Again and again, the Jesus declares the backwards nature of the Kingdom of God. The last will be first; to be great means to serve; enter as a little child. Over and over He elevates those people often looked down on as insignificant, unimportant. These common biblical idioms seem nonsensical. But Jesus Himself said He came to serve, not to be served.

The significance of such a statement is lost on those who do not know who Jesus is. See, Paul (one of the Bible’s most well-known and educated authors) refers to Him as “the firstborn” because despite His being equal with God “the Father” the concept of the Holy Trinity is lost on human understanding, so God often refers to Himself with titles and phrases we can grasp – “Firstborn” is especially fitting.

“All that I have is yours” was often the relationship a father held with his eldest son in the days of the biblical authors.  And yet, Jesus has no intention of lording His position over us. Instead, He invites us to share in all of it. All that is required on our part is faith.

Paul understood and declared those who believe and bend the knee solely to Him as Lord (as is fitting because He is God) become “joint heirs” with Jesus. What does that mean? It means we not only become His adopted siblings but also receive every honor and blessing He is given as befitting the one and only Son of God. Deserve has nothing to do with how God thinks because that is not the mentality of love. Honor yes; deserve no.

I exist because He dreamt of me. Ponder this with me for a moment. I exist because He dreamt of me. If that does not settle your spirit into speechless awe, I don’t know what will.

Jesus is the constant living breathing example of everything the Kingdom of God values. Things, status, achievement; these pale in comparison to the love He has for His people, His brothers and sisters. And He proves it by gladly offering to give it all away so we might also share in His blessings together.

I really don’t think I am capable of fully understanding the level of love to which I am loved. If I did, I think I would implode. The awe I feel leads me to splutter ----

What God does this?!

I have never known a culture to create a God like this (and I’ve studied many).

I have never found His equal.

This is our God; this is my Jesus! I hate that I cannot seem to carry this marvelous weight in my heart all the time. If I did, it wouldn’t even cross my mind to measure myself against anyone else ever again. But I suppose that explains the conviction. Perhaps He knows the time to make a change is now. I don’t know what it looks like or how it feels to not compare myself to others, but I’m willing and open to try something different.

You Have My Sword,

Olivia

P.S. If you haven’t played the game Telestrations, you should. It’s a mix of the old school game Telephone and Pictionary. My family and I played it with some friends last night, and the worse you are at drawing the better the game. There were 10 of us; my brother’s phrase when passed along started as “angry mob” and slowly descended to “demon army” which eventually turned into “man gives sandwich to Caesar” and ended spectacularly with “hey, Babe, here’s a burger.” Angry mob to burgers. Highly recommend.