The Power of Mental Presence

Evidence of Goodness: PDT (Public Displays of Tenderness)

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My Dear Lovelians,

For those of you who read my preliminary letter Finding Hope in the Future: A Nod to Current Events, you will remember the goal I established in the very beginning. Other than discovering what it means to live my own life to the full, I also desire to report any findings concerning evidence of goodness in the world as a means of combating all the negative news circulating around. So, without further ado, here is further evidence of goodness I had the pleasure of witnessing.

In another previous letter (Good Riddance Inconvenience: How to See the World Through New Eyes), I briefly mentioned the importance of making time for silence by monitoring how often I wear my headphones (and yes, this has something to do with my story...might I say everything to do with it). In the context of this letter, it was one of the first steps I took to stop complaining about the world by being content to be in it. The decision to put aside distraction in this way and be mentally present (not just physically) has slowly turned my heart into one growing more and more observant and empathetic towards the world around me. I've started paying more attention to my own life and now care more than I used to about the random strangers I pick up conversation snippets from.

Original image credit to Green Chameleon

For me, this happens the most at the local coffee shop I write and brainstorm in, or outside of in this case. 70 degrees Fahrenheit may be unnaturally warm for December in North Carolina, even if it is only a few hours from the coast, but this does mean I can enjoy a few more days of basking in beautiful weather and enjoying the street hubbub of passersby. One of these happened to be a middle-aged gentleman I didn't take much notice of at first. I glanced briefly at him as he took a table a couple yards in front of me. Being in my direct line of sight, I couldn't help but flick my eyes up once more over my tablop (tablet-laptop) when he stood up to greet someone.

I did a double-take. Not because I knew the woman but because the beautiful tenderness of the couple's greeting captivated my attention. When the woman neared the table, he reached out to her, and she didn't even set her purse down before embracing and kissing him long and sweet. Then he just held her in his arms for a solid minute or so (which is pretty long compared with your standard southern salutation). It was like nothing and no one else in the world existed for these two people standing outside a coffee shop while cars rumbled passed and construction banged and drilled next door. I'm over here, directly across from them, trying not to be disrespectful but totally enraptured by the beautiful public display of tenderness by these two individuals.

Could I have experienced this moment while purposing to block out the world with music, totally immersed in my own imagination? Maybe. But I guarantee it would most likely not have had the same effect. I continued to think about them long after they had gone, and a warmness remained in my heart when I left.

Original image credit to Henry Be

In all I've said, I do not mean to impress the idea that purposing to listen to music (or any other kind of mental entertainment) is wrong. Purposing in and of itself is the idea. If you want to listen to music, go listen to music and immerse yourself in it. My caution focuses more on the habit of blocking out the world with the mindset of needing to fill headspace with noise. Noise distracts. And noise can feel...empty after a while.

I am also aware of how difficult this choice is. I cannot adequately describe how much of a music junkie I am. I collect CDs to read the liner notes while listening to my favorite artists; Spotify has been a constant companion in my car; and I am no stranger to long walks just to immerse myself in melody and imagine I'm a character in Dune or Ranger's Apprentice, so believe me when I say stepping into silence has not been the easiest transition for me. But it has been oh so powerful in establishing mental, not just physical, presence, which has been key in finding adventures to live and evidence of goodness.

Merry Christmas,

Olivia

P.S. Let silence take you down memory lane. Think about what it felt like to be a kid getting into mischief when you hear the laughter of the kids in your neighborhood. Take a stroll with a friend at night and observe the Christmas lights around town while reminiscing your favorite traditions or hilarious holiday moments.

P.P.S. Go make more moments!