Translating the Pulpit

Breaking Down Peace, Partnership, and Mortality

My Dear Misfit Friends & Puzzle Pieces,

Original image credit to David Williams

It seems I am not the only one begging God to show up or give me a sneak peek at what He’s doing. It is...oddly comforting to hear other people cry out God where are you? I know that sounds really bad, but it’s true. This just so happens to be a third of the reason I go to church. The other two-thirds include mingling and, you know, general God-stuff. My main focus at the moment includes two elements: peace and partnership. I touched on partnership in my last letter. Basically, my goal right now is to focus on finding the right balance between my own ability and reliance on Jesus. I’ve been really struggling to establish this happy-medium because it seems everything from culture to worried relatives is pressuring me against it. But, if I am going to live as fully as possible in life, it starts here.

One topic that continuously crops up is rest. I know I need it. A quick skim of my last couple letters proves my point. Peace, or the ability to let go of worry, after all is pivotal in partnering with God. But no matter how many times I heard about it or read that infamous line in Psalm 46 (be still and know that I am God), being still has eluded me. I’m a mental wanderer by trade, so clearing my head is a decidedly impossible task. It sounds good when I hear it encouraged from the stage, but until recently, I had absolutely no clue how to do that. The pulpit answer for cultivating peace always seemed to be rest in the sovereignty of God. Uhmmm. Okay. How does one be still or rest in the sovereignty of God? Forgive my Christian-ese.

I do not at all mean to come down on pastors. They have shared so much wisdom I know my relationship with Jesus would not be where it is without them. Let me just translate a little bit. I’ve known for a while now how critical rest is on a person’s general well-being -- mental, physical, emotional, you name it. To start, I began by breaking down the words. What do they mean by themselves? Be still. Rest. People in this state are at ease, calm. But in the context of the Bible line I mentioned, be still is a command, meaning a verb is required on my part. I must do something. Okay. Replace be still with stop fighting.

Stop fighting and know that I am God.

How? Because as previously mentioned my mental wandering and natural inclination towards worrying don’t just cease when I want them to. Rest in the sovereignty of God. Okay, what in heck does that mean? This one took a bit of deciphering on my end as well because it just sounds so...religious. And let me just say, I do not at all mind admitting that people in the church world can be a bit...disconnected from real life. For the time being, let’s replace rest with find comfort and sovereignty with power.

Find comfort in the power of God.

In other words, find comfort in His ability and determination to turn every horrible situation into one that makes hurt, trauma, and fear rue the day they decided to mess with you.

While this does give me immense comfort and peace, there still exists that small voice in my head that tells me what I’m doing isn’t enough. If I just tried a different angle or searched longer and harder...

To combat this, I rely wholly on the book of Ecclesiastes. If you can’t pronounce it, that’s okay. For those of you who’ve never read it or read it once and swore never again because it’s so depressing, let me translate.

This book of the Bible, essentially, looks at the world and the timeline of history from a 3-thousand-foot view. It brings into focus the patterns of humanity and proves there really is ‘nothing new under the sun’. The comings and goings of human behavior occur in cycles and hold virtually no lasting effect. They are, in essence, ‘meaningless’. I admit when you say it like this, it does sound depressing.

I love this book so much because it feels like God giving me a hug and whispering breathe in my ear. Because I’ve read other books in the Bible, I know He recognizes the importance of the small things, but sometimes I just need a bigger picture. In the grand scheme of life, the paths I choose don’t really matter as much as I think they do. It’s not permission to be foolish; it’s permission to, well, rest, take five.

This is what’s been on my mind the past couple weeks. Finding peace in my own mortality and His ability to keep the world spinning, mine included, calms me down enough to focus on truly partnering with Him. I do my part, and He does His. And you know, I found it, my next path. It might just be another stepping-stone to add wisdom or give perspective as my other yes’s have been. By this, I mean they helped hone my vision of what a full life means for me. But I had a moment of clarity where worry and guilt subsided long enough to give my confidence the strength to keep doing what I’m doing despite how foolish people think I am. What I’m involved in is a bit out of the box. It’s not a program, and it’s not easy. One cannot be passive in the search for life after all.

Partnering with Jesus means, at the end of the day, letting go of the belief that it’s all down to me. Have fun meditating, and as always,

Stay Curious,

Olivia

P.S. I know I said I wouldn’t delve too deeply in the world of theology, so if I just bored you to tears or left you thoroughly confused...I tried.